January 6th – the New Date for History Books

While I was in the midst of writing a blog related to dance company touring, I had my iPad tuned to news programs mainly to hear about the results of the Georgia runoff elections for the Senate.  I was feeling pretty excited hearing that Ossoff was pulling ahead in the GA race and Vice President Mike Pence had made an opening statement indicating that he would be following his appropriate role in receiving and registering the electoral votes.  Then the mob breached the Capitol and my energy changed.  I could no longer concentrate on writing the dance company blog.  The rest of the day and into the late evening I was focused on the news, mainly listening to MSNBC.  I found myself deeply sad and at times tearful.  

My interests and background are in the arts and I am not usually a news junky.  That was what my life partner/husband Murray did and he passed away just over two months ago.  Perhaps because I knew I couldn’t turn to ask him for an update, I needed to watch for myself.  I did that and now I am left with a strange and uncomfortable feeling of how to react and what to do.   I paint, I write and I used to direct a dance company, and so when I find myself having strong emotional reactions I know that I am also looking for a way to express them.  So here I am writing.

Among the many senators’ speeches, one of them used two phrases which I could relate to.  9/11 was a time when the action came from outside the country while today the action was from within the country.  Outside and inside forces.  And the inside force came from the strong encouragement of the President.  Images of the people inside the building, especially one person sitting at a desk in the House Speaker’s office had almost a clown feeling to it.  Almost someone doing mischief.  Efforts were to be disruptive and that they were. It could have been a lot worse. What it did show was how fragile the country is, how poor security was at the Capitol and how democracy is something we cannot take for granted!!

It felt good to see the proceeding resume after the building was secure, and while there were four deaths it could have been many more.  By the time I got up this morning, Biden and Harris were formally elected and there was a message from the President there would be an orderly transfer of power.  Yet I still have this uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach, and while my unrest is not at the level I felt after 9/11, it is here.  On 9/11, living in Jersey City, I saw the second tower collapse, with my own eyes, walking the few blocks from our house to the river.  I was with a neighbor and I knew that all of my family was already safe. Yet that day changed me. It took a few months before the direction was clear to me, and how I ran my dance company and what I decided to choreograph evolved in a different direction.  I have written about that before and so I will just summarize by saying that the Forgiveness Project happened shortly after that, and my focus on work shifted from emphasis on Jewish themes and performances in synagogues to work relevant for working with women in prison.

So I know I have a need to be patient with myself, not discount my feelings and give myself time to see what evolves.  My circumstances are different as I now am far from DC where the action happened.  I live alone in Costa Rica in a beautiful setting.  Yet I am hearing a voice inside me saying that this threat to democracy in the United States is very real and not over and that it does affect me and those close to me. This fight of the white men to keep control is not over.  Racism is a key part of it. And I can’t be silent about it! 

In 2003, the teacher I had for life drawing at the Art Students League in New York City (I am embarrassed not to remember her name) talked about how important it is to use your art for political statements, particularly related to feminism.  So maybe thinking about how to bring these feelings into my art will be important to me. 

We have so many outstanding examples of visual artists, musicians, and performing artists responding to the politics and challenges of their time.  I ask myself and I ask you how are we going to respond to what we saw yesterday and the reminder of how fragile our democracy is, and how racism, anti-Semitism and feminism fit into this picture!  For a brief moment yesterday we got to celebrate two new senators, Raphael Warnock and Jon Ossoff elected from a Southern state.  Ossoff is only 33 and Jewish. Reverend Warnock is African American.  The fact that the Southern state of Georgia elected them and is giving the Senate back to the Democrats is a major tribute to Stacey Abrams who,  along with other women of color, dedicated herself to changing the state. That gives me hope.  

I am privileged to live in a beautiful home in Costa Rica. Part of the reason Murray and I moved here was because of our fear of how the election of 2016 pointed toward increased anti-Semitism, racism, and loss of democracy.  Yesterday was a major test.  Even though I don’t live in the United States right now I am still a citizen and care.  So I am asking myself, “What can I do as an artist from right where I am????”